Confession is good for the soul it is said Monday, Apr 30 2007 

Friday afternoon I visited the local Satan-Mart. There were 2 twenty-something guys that parked next to me in one of those ugly Mustangs. It wasn’t a classic and it wasn’t a well kept newer one. It was junkyard. Anyways, I digress. I was not looking especially Fergilicious but I was certainly not looking like a long time resident of the Black Lagoon.

I was leaving Satan-Mart and they had just parked and were walking away from the car when the one of them said “Dude, there’s your girlfriend.” And did the head flick thing towards me.

Guess what asshat ? I may not be your chick of choice but I AM NOT DEAF. So, here is the confession:

I dinged your door. Shut up-you had it coming.

And then I did what every self respecting fat bottomed girl would do. I went to the local chicken joint and ordered a number 2 combo with a large coke.

There. I feel much better for getting that off my tremendously awesome chest.

Must be doing somethin’ right Thursday, Apr 26 2007 

Went to the elementary school awards this morning.  Mo got an award for honor roll and got the “Busy Bee” award for her class. Jo also got an award for honor roll and the “Busy Bee” award for her class.

The eldest child, Sumo, got an admissions letter from Baylor University in the mail this morning.

For today, right now, I am doing it right. Somehow. But don’t despair. Before the sun goes down tonite I will have done something to one of them that will require hours of therapy years from now. You can bank on it.

Who Knew? Tuesday, Apr 24 2007 

I told Susie to INTERVIEW ME and what do you know? She did.

1.  Where did the name of your blog come from?  (warning:dork alert)

    Hootie Mac is my nickname. A nickname that I gave myself.  It makes me giggle. Hootie Mac sounds like a fun person. She never meets a stranger. Women want to be her friend. Men adore her. She wears expensive  shoes and pretty bras from Victoria’s Secret.  She is one hell of a classy broad.

 2. Who was your first best friend, and what did you like about him or her?

My first best friend was Judy. She lived next door to me when I was 5 years old. She was incredibly blonde, very sweet, and she liked me. Pretty much what I look for in a friend-despite who/what I am you still like me.

3. Who is the sexiest cartoon character, and why?

Thundar the Barbarian.  And that is all I am going to say about that.

4. You are Southern and Christian, both labels that come with a lot of stereotypes . What mistakes assumptions might be made about you, based on these labels?

If I tell you I am a Christian, I assume that you assume the following:

  • I HATE in the name of my God
  • I am a straightlaced prude with no sense of the ridiculous.
  • I think I am a better person than you cause I am going to heaven and you are going to hell in a handbasket.

But that I would like for you to know is that when I say I am Christian, it means that I am a follower of Jesus Christ. A follower-not a leader. Jesus has an incredible love and mercy for all. He never judges. He knows that is not his purpose. 

To me, being a follower means  I try to emulate what he was. Try and fail miserably. But I still try. Every person I meet I want to love but let’s face facts: Some people are just asshats and would even get on Jesus’ last nerve.

I am irreverent, wicked, and enjoy a good shag like nobody’s business.

And I certainly not arrogant enough to assume that Christians have got it all figured out. What makes us think we have special insight to the working of God’s mind? 

As for being Southern, I can only guess at what someone might think of me after learning I was bred and born in the great state of Louisiana. But let me assure you that:

  • I am an intelligent person who can read, write and cipher numbers. I have a college degree. Although my I.Q. is not in the range of Einstein, I am smarter than the average bear.
  • New Orleans is equally the best and the worst of the South. But it is still the coolest city ever.
  • We did not all campaign for David Duke. What a waste of space he is.
  • I have never eaten roadkill. Or cooked it.
  • I can almost guarantee you that you have more prejudices that I do. We all live together in harmony like most semi-dysfunctional families no matter what you hear.

I will own up to the fact that I did date my cousin 4 times removed when I was 16. You got me there.

5. Do you use fragrance — perfume, lotion? Do you have a “signature” scent?

I own one bottle of perfume. Ralph Lauren’s Blue. I really like the Ralph Lauren scents. But scents never really “take” on me. They seem to fade right off. I sure that has a name or a support group of some sort. I will have to google it.

Well, there you go. My sincere thanks go out to Susie for her thoughtfulness and some really good questions. And according to the rules, I make the following offer. If you want to be interviewed:

  1. Leave me a comment saying  “Interview Me!”
  2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
  3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
  4. Include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
  5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

I Feel Pretty..Oh So Pretty… Friday, Apr 20 2007 

Here you go folks-Disney is in the wedding gown business now:

http://dcp.smugmug.com/gallery/2689824#142436970

I actually really like some of the gowns.  I can appreciate good design.  But I don’t know if I would want to be a Disney Princess. They got issues:

  • Snow White: She will never live down the fact she lived with 7 guys at the same time.  Can she really pull off a white wedding gown? please……
  • Cinderella: dysfunctional family straight from the set of Jerry Springer
  • Ariel: lovely girl but she is best friends with a fish and a lobster. has apparently lost touch with reality.
  • Jasmine: Flying carpets and blue genies? This is your brain on drugs people.
  • Sleeping Beauty: Dragon, pyscho stalker woman with a grudge to settle, and narcolepsy.  A full plate of fun.
  • Belle: Senile father, psycho stalker wanna be boyfriend, and the love of your life is a beast, literally. I recommend restraining order and therapy.

I am so gonna get banned from the Magic Kingdom. Bad bad hootie mac.

  

This is what I want today Wednesday, Apr 18 2007 

I read this question on someone’s blog today: How old do you think you would be if you did not know how old you really are?

Today I think I am ancient.  This world just makes me ache for all the pain and sorrow we inflict upon each other. For no good reason other than we can.

Life is short people. Be good to one another. Love one another.  Make someone smile-make someone feel like they are 7 years old today and that the world is a pretty neat place to be.

Sometimes it is just that simple. We cannot chase death away or cure the body or make everything okay in someone’s world. But we can pass on the unbelievable love that God has for us all. And that can make anything just easier to bear.

So I am asking you my friends:Who can you reach out to? Someone-somewhere needs to hear from you. Are you listening?

Are you one of those people that……… Monday, Apr 16 2007 

Other people just seem to fall in love with and everyone thinks you are the best thing since sliced bread? Of course, if you are one of those people you will never admit to being one of those people. Humility is one of the apparent characteristics of “those people.”

 

They seem to make tons of friends. Not just so-so casual friends either. Friends for life-friends that will be there through it all. The kind that will camp out on your living room floor just in case you need them. The kind that see you through those rose colored glasses-you are always beautiful and kind. And when you admit to being maybe not so nice they will assure you that it was just a bad day or justify your reason for being mean. You can really do no wrong-people love you that much.

 

I suppose you can tell from my tone that I am not one of “those people.” And I do not mean to convey that I dislike “those people.”  I am just curious as to what is in their manner that evokes such love and loyalty from others.

 

 Dr. Phil loves to spout off “we teach people how to treat us.” What is it that “those people” seem to teach us without us even realizing what is going on.  Cause we love “those people” like it would seem just wrong if we didn’t.  

 

So do I somehow have a “please don’t love me like that” aura going on? Do people sense something in me is lacking?   

 

Or I am so busy being the mother, the caregiver, the one who loves that no one notices the vine is starving for some attention?  I am never alone but the loneliest person I know.

 

Seriously, starting a blog on a Monday is so not a good idea. I should just post pictures of my rack and get on with my day.

Hello world! Friday, Apr 13 2007 

Well it is a sure sign of the end of the world. I have a blog. May God have mercy on us all.